Ethiopia Accuses Eritrea for Deliberately Setting off the Dubbi Volcano: Satire News

TesfaNews,

Eritreans have rarely missed laughing from the infamous ‘a week in the horn’ articles of the Ethiopian foreign ministry on its funny website. It always foolishly twists events and known facts when it comes to Eritrea only to satisfy its empty ego and propaganda practices. However, what we are about to read from this ministry this week is going to be very funny and with a more laughable staff.

We are predicting, weird as it may sound, it is going to be in relation to the recent volcanic activity in Eritrea and the content will look more or less like the one below. Have fun on the satire below and be prepared to have more fun this week after the ministry posted its weekly gibberish on its website.

Ministry of Foreign Affairs – Ethiopia

On its “a week in the horn” issues, The Ethiopian ministry of foreign affairs has issued a strongly worded accusation against Eritrea for deliberately igniting the Dubbi volcano in its southern Red Sea region. The GOE (Ethiopia) strongly believes, it cannot be a coincidence, unless deliberately set off by the regime in Asmara, that Dubbi volcano erupts 150 years later and of all the days, when the US secretary of state pays a visit to Addis Ababa. This is purely sabotage on Ethiopia’s diplomatic frontier and an act of terrorism of the highest order. We regret Clinton cut short of her trip and left the country.

We have intelligence the same has happened to UN chief Ban ki Moon, in Chile, that same day. We call up on the international community to try to link, whatsoever, these two volcanic incidents with Eritrea.

The ministry went on to say that it has a pile of intelligence to implicate Eritrea behind proliferation of nuclear bomb with the help of Iran and Qatar. Thanks to the newly acquired unmanned vehicles from Israel, we have motion and still pictures showing an unusual activities of the Eritrean military and its scientists near the Dubbi volcano prior to it eruption on Sunday night. 

We strongly believe that the cause of the volcano is from a possible nuclear bomb test by the Eritrean regime and we urge the international community to refer the matter to the Security Council and IAEA without delay followed by a robust sanction. Uganda has shown interest, as before, to draft the resolution as we have no problem to get the nod from IGAD.

However, as previous sanction attempts have failed to bring any fruit, we strongly recommend a Libya style NATO bombardment on Eritrea’s nuclear facilities. If it is not much to bother, you do us a favour by introducing a clause on the resoulution to extend NATO’s action on all the gold mines in Eritrea that we believe are the source of all the finances.

Ministry of Foreign Affairs
Ethiopia